How to Talk To Your Dog About Sex

Do you have a dog? Have you had sex?

Then your dog has DOOFUS.

Total Mindfuck

A Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying. 

F.R. Larkin

Frank R. Larkin is an ardent advocate for shame-free, consensual sex. A survivor of sex abuse perpetrated by a serial predator-pediatrician in Omaha, he believes that the coached sexual shame we're subjected to as children not only protects abusers and the institutions who foster them, but plays far too significant a role in the lives of millions of sexually dissatisfied men and women.

Through his frank, sexual writing, F.R. Larkin hopes to lessen the stigma around hot, connected and even kinky sex between consenting adults, lifting the burden of lifetime shame from those victimized by sexual abuse and turning this generations-old weapon on those egregious predators and pedophiles that have benefitted from it for far too long.

F.R. Larkin’s professional writing credits include his Angry Frank sex advice column formerly published in Playgirl magazine and two books, Total Mindfuck: A Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying and How to Talk to Your Dog About Sex. Frank is currently working on a sexual cookbook: The Fucking Cookbook: Hot Sex and Comfort Food in the Time of the Coronavirus and Other Torrid Shorts. 2. Eat, Play, Fuck: Hot Sex and Comfort Food in the Time of Coronavirus (and other torrid shorts) 3. Eat Gray Fuck: Hot Sex and Comfort Food Throughout the Middle Ages. 4. The Fu*king Cookbook: Hot Sex and Comfort Food in the Time of the Coronavirus and Other Torrid Shorts.


Heat and Stir is a bleeding edge digital press studio and lifestyle brand bent on delivering emotionally connected and sexually charged content promoting a shame-free, self-accepting existence. Heat and Stir was founded on the principle that mindful sexual indulgence and gastronomic permissiveness reduce toxic stress and anger while promoting greater personal fulfillment–and when practiced by all, world peace (we’re not shitting, we believe this).

Combining mouthwatering recipes and the brain-melting sex they inspire–with some expert kitchen and bedroom tips thrown in for good pleasure, Heat and Stir will pique your appetite and send blood surging toward your sex. Your brain, now sufficiently oxygen deprived, is free from pesky thoughts like “how to think and grow rich” and “how to win friends and influence people,” leaving lots of space for real problems like “what should we make for dinner” “would this spatula make a good sex toy” and “how can we fuck on that granite countertop”.

By oversharing our own sexual and gastronomic experimentation with brutal candidness and unrelenting emotional connectivity, we hope you might just become a little more accepting of your own desires and act on them thoughtfully and responsibly, like with a safe word and oven mitts. One day, we hope the whole world summons the courage to go fuck itself, but until then, may we provide you with quality masturbatory and tummy fodder that titillates sensitive palates, clits and pricks alike.

“They say you are what you eat… I’ve always been kind of a pussy.” Frank

“I like to sit on Frank’s face. It eventually shuts him the fuck up.” Irene


This coming fall, Heat and Stir brings you our long-awaited opus: The Fu*king Cookbook: Hot Sex and Comfort Food in the Time of the Coronavirus and Other Erotic Storytelling Recipes.  The Combining our two favorite pastimes, eating and fucking, The Fucking Cookbook represents everything we care to overshare regarding the intersection of our libidinous and gastronomic longings.

Imagine your fondest culinary and dining experiences – perhaps making handmade pasta with your new lover, that near-perfect picnic in the park, your first date at a tablecloth restaurant, now juxtapose those memories with the recollection of your favorite first kiss, the electric touch of your most talented lover, your most enduring sexual fantasy, your kinkiest sex and your most powerful, mind-altering orgasms…now you’ve got the key ingredients in The Fucking Cookbook: Irene’s comforting recipes for blueberry spice pancakes, stuffed French toast, Dutch babies and mom’s spaghetti, dishes so mouthwatering and sumptuous that they led to long, lingering apron-clad kisses, hastily dispatched clothing, kitchen utensils substituting as sex toys, appliances and dishes swept aside in favor of countertop cunnilingus, and hot slippery, beneath-the-blanket blowjobs in the park at dusk.

Chockfull of easy-to-replicate recipes for delectable comfort food and the spontaneous, scintillating sex that accompanied its creation and aftermath, The Fucking Cookbook has all the ingredients you need to sate your appetite and invigorate your sex life. And it’s not just breathing hard and cursing like a sailor, it’s coming soon, so you can too. Don’t buy it for yourself, buy it for your selfish tummy and swollen sex.

Updated: June 26, 2020


Do you have a dog?

Have you had sex?

Then please, for the love of dog, check your beloved canine for the following telltale signs of a crippling related malady: Does Buddy look at you in that “I could use another treat” way? Does that little bitch Princess only sit reluctantly, on the third or fourth command? Does that chubby old bastard Baily still chase his tail before crapping? If you answered yes, no, sometimes or “what the fuck business is it of yours, Frank?” then I hate to break it to you, but your cherished companion suffers from DOOFUS (Dogs Oversensitive to Owners Fucking Unabashedly Syndrome), a debilitating, godawful ailment afflicting your dog’s very soul…and it’s all because you had the audacity to fuck within eye or earshot of your best friend.

Thank god there’s a cure. Much more than a 28,000-word apology to your dog Buddy for fucking in front of the poor old cuss, How to Talk to Your Dog About Sex delivers hot connected human sex and dogs pretty much behaving like misbehaving dogs…surely the recipe for literary success. With its unique appeal to animal lovers, dog owners and people who fuck unabashedly or otherwise, How to Talk to Your Dog About Sex combines proven animal behavioral science, scintillating sex scenes, real world sex tips, a smattering of actual dog training advice and a top-secret cure for a canine syndrome that doesn’t fucking exist. So, yeah, it’s totally batshit fucking crazy, but like all of its author’s creations, it’s incredibly passionate, fast-paced, sexually-supercharged and funny as fuck.


Total Mindfuck: A Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying is the most intense, sensual, connected and immersive sex-play manual ever written. It’s also funny as fuck. Whether you’re a rubbernecking vanilla neophyte with a desire to read how the other half plays, an old Neapolitan pro with a cabinet full of whips and shackles, or just the average Curious Jane or Jorge, something in here’s sure to swell your sex. Heat & Stir’s “Fast and Filthy” guides are designed to transform supposedly taboo, experimental or shame-inducing sexual exploits into accessible, exciting and utterly orgasmic adventures for the rest of us – in about a hundred pages (Fast), including intense sexual depictions and pottymouth (Filthy) as promised.

Despite containing NSFW or really NSFHW (Not Safe For Home or Work) sexual dialogue and depictions, at the core of every sexual reenactment, you’ll find connection, compassion, humor and phenomenal writing, somehow absent from today’s popular erotica titles. We’re not kidding about the NSFHW content either. The sexual scenes in every Heat & Stir publication contain scintillating recreations of actual encounters involving their authors, Frank and Irene Larkin. While the graphic, sexually charged depictions may not be for everyone, Heat & Stir is determined to ground every reenactment in the actual human experience that inspired them, including the intense emotional connection, unintended gaffes, scintillating sex-play, and accompanying pottymouth that characterizes their authors’ real-life orgasms… half-hearted apologies tweeted upon request for a limited time only.