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Sex Advice

Female Orgasm Hacks for More Powerful Pleasure

There is no Declaration of Orgasmic Independence unfortunately, all orgasms are not created equal, not by a long shot. Why is it that a month after swiping right for Philippe, that dashing could-be Frenchman, (probable French Canadian) the orgasms that had come so fast and furious in those early “my god he actually has hair and resembles his photo” days have suddenly flat-lined into less exceptional fare you might easily mistake for your de rigueur masturbation excursions. Could it be because of IOTA, “I’m Over This Asshole” syndrome? Well, it could be, sure. But more likely, no matter Philippe’s many human failings, it’s probably just that normal “settling in” orgasm rearing its head.

It’s damn hard to consistently replicate that “new sex” orgasm with all of its magical brain sparklers, shooting leg spasms and heavenly body tremors. Studies show that the more you diversify your sexual experience, the more diversified, and satisfying your sexual response. Now does that mean you have to move on from Philippe? Not necessarily. Following you will find some awesome hacks (partially derived from Heat & Stir’s Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying) that you can share with your partner this Valentine’s Day and many Valentine’s Days to follow if you so choose, because with a little effort, and a little help from Heat & Stir, sex and orgasms need never become “same old”.

Sexual roleplaying is an awesome way to escape same-old orgasms and despite what you’ve heard or read, you needn’t purchase any bullshit costumes to go there. The best way to start roleplaying is to discuss any places you don’t want to go in your impromptu scenes, possibly stemming from prior abuse, childhood trauma, or just a shitty experience. Then come up with a safe word you both agree on and make sure its merest utterance means “stop right there.”

Because of the impromptu, “every orgasm is special and new” effect that sexual roleplaying can foster, it can be accompanied by more massive surges of oxytocin and endorphins. These promise exponentially better orgasms, but also can result in more adventurous activities that if not accompanied by caution, consideration and the proper amount of lube can go south in a hurry. This is not to scare you off, rather it’s to make you both aware, so you can keep your lover’s best interests in mind as you blow each other’s fucking minds.

Enough with all the preliminaries. For a more complete introduction into roleplaying, check out our Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying – now absolutely free for 2 entire days as our Valentine to you. Now that you and your lover have digested the above, it’s time for one of you to step up and be the initiator. The initiator will “write” more of the scene, but can do so from either a dominant or submissive position.

You may start a scene with “I’m so sorry officer, I didn’t know doing 80 in a 55 would get me pulled over, is there any way we can maybe work this out?” as you gently put two fingers between your fully wetted lips and slowly withdraw them. Or you can start your scene with “Sir you know we got what ya might call limits of speedin’ in our state, an you just blew right by ‘em. Please step outta the car and put your hands on the hood.” This is a great opening for you to frisk your offending lover, taking great liberties with your weapon search, which of course reveals a certain loaded gun that must be safely discharged before your motorist returns to his vehicle.

Remember, costumes are totally optional and most purchased online won’t survive their first wash, let alone a trip to the dry cleaners for spooge removal. Your brain is your costume. Basically, you can think up any kind of shit you want, but the best role playing opportunities come from one of you being in a position of authority like a teacher- student, prisoner-guard, doctor-patient, masseuse-client, boss-coworker etc. Due to the nature of roleplaying, it is very important to discuss potential “trigger” scenes to avoid, because the very dominance and submission that makes a scene so hot often plays out in actual sexual predation in the real world, unfortunately.

On a more positive note, if done with care, roleplaying can provide the participant a crucial “out” if you will, a way to enter a safe emotional space where becoming someone else for a while may alleviate the tremendous tension related to being an abuse survivor.

Having an open discussion about roleplaying in advance means that you and your partner will be receptive to a scene-starting cue, like “I’m afraid I’m going to have to treat you for sexual hysteria, Jane, there’s just no other way to release your dynamic tensions.” Who fucking knows what dynamic tensions are, and who cares? Let your roleplaying be guilt, shame and judgement-free… the more fucked up and crazy your scene, the better. If it all goes south, you share an orgasm, a good laugh and try-try again. Don’t wear your editor’s cap, wear your adventurer’s cap and for the love of god, take advantage of our Great Valentine’s Day Book Giveaway so you can see all these crazy, mind-blowing, sex-swelling scenes in action.

Below are some additional “technical” orgasmic hacks that will elevate your scenes and maximize your release. Check out our book to see them in action.

Orgasm Hacks to Employ in Roleplaying

  • The Great Delay.

Never give your lover what they want immediately. Please do not go straight to the clit or frenulum and deliver the goods. Starting on these mind-blowing real estate parcels is fine, as long you linger just long enough to frustrate the shit out of them, before moving to their extremities and working your way back to the promised land. Use this technique when stimulating your lover’s nipples too (male and female), making painfully slow circles around the circumference of the breast before delicate swipes over areola and nipple, returning to the methodical kissing and licking circles before finally zeroing in on your lover’s teat and providing much-anticipated suckling relief. You can incorporate this technique into any roleplaying situation like your CIA interrogation of a suspected cartel member… how the fuck should I know?

  • The Extremities.

For the love of god, don’t forget the hands and feet. You don’t have to be a phalange or foot fetishist to get really turned on by someone, slowly licking, then meticulously sucking toe, by toe, finger by finger. If you really want to turn your lover on, after you get through all the toes and fingers, get as much of that hand or foot in your hot, steamy mouth, slowly fucking your face with their hand or foot before deliberately moving up the inner calf and leg, or forearm and bicep and making your way to the promised land. Perhaps use this technique while assuming the role of sleazy art photographer, adoring her or his model.

  • The Slapper.

A real effective orgasm enhancer can be gentle cock or dildo / vibrator slapping of the clitoris. This is an awesome mind-blower as both a request to be done unto, or perpetrated upon your lover. Go gently at first and increase frequency and pressure according to the recipient’s response. Often this can result in its own orgasm, but also works as an awesome enhancer accompanied by an inserted vibrator or dildo. This is obviously a confession tool, perhaps you killed someone, or robbed a bank.

Yes, eating your lover’s asshole is an awesome turn-on that works equally well on men and women. You may be freaked out by the act of “doing” it but maybe the act of having it “done unto” you will change and blow your fucking mind. Scratch that – it will definitely blow your fucking mind. Some women may come from this act alone, without any additional stimulation, it’s that powerful. There is simply no sensation quite like having your lover’s tongue, encircle and dart into your rectum, it is at once incredibly intimate, completely wrong and so fucking right. Be brave. Could there be a better match for your proctologist fantasy. “Please remove your slacks Mr/Ms Jones, now bend over for me, that’s right…”

  • Prostate Stimulation / Pegging

Before you spend your money on a vibrating dildo and harness and start spelunking your man, might I suggest you start out with some simple prostate stimulation. Your two fingers will do, and you can purchase finger cots if you so desire. Might I suggest purchasing some surgical gloves and start your roleplaying scene as the gastroenterologist about to perform a prostate exam. If you want to take your man’s orgasm to 11, well might I suggest you go online and purchase Lelo’s frighteningly expensive, massively pleasurable prostate stimulator called the Hugo for some damn reason. You can buy cheaper ones, but wow, this thing is like shoving a mini Maserati engine up your lover’s ass and hitting the start button. Jesus!

If you and your lover are okay with the prostate stimulation – believe me if you try it, and he allows it, he’ll be more than “okay” with the results, you may be ready for pegging. Go online and get a waterproof vibrating dildo, preferably one made especially for the prostate, but anything shoved up there will hit the mark, along with a dildo harness. Get some good water-based lube, as the silicone based stuff will ruin your expensive toys. Now go gently into that night, and then a little more aggressively, until your fucking that eve til dawn. Combined with a wrap-around hand-job, pegging can result in explosive orgasms – and if you get the vibrating dildo, the base will against your sex with every grinding insertion, making you come too. How fucking awesome is that? Fucking really awesome. You’ll come like… someone who comes really fucking hard. Pegging is a great way to dominate your cellmate in prison, or insert some type of secret device into your lover for airline boarding – again, what the fuck do I know. You’ll think of something.

There’s your Fast and Filthy introduction to hacking your Valentine’s Day Orgasm. As this subject is far too complex to adequately be covered in any one article, might I once again suggest checking out Heat & Stir’s Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying – for free, for two full days starting February 14th on your Kindle now.

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