• Journal,  Lifestyle

    Forgive Me, LBGTQ Community

      My first pride march I wore a “breeder” T-shirt…as in I quite literally painted the word “breeder” on a fucking white undershirt and donned that fucking thing while accompanying my bisexual girlfriend down 5th Avenue on the 25th Anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. I walked down 5th Avenue, proud of my latest artistic creation, as no one gave the fucking…

  • Bookshelf

    How to talk to your dog about sex

    Click here for Updates 07.01.18 Do you have a dog? Have you had sex? Then please, for the love of dog, check your best friend for signs of DOOFUS (Dogs Oversensitive to Owners Fu*king Unabashedly Syndrome). Does Buddy look at you in that “I could use another treat” way? Does Princess only sit reluctantly, on the third or fourth command?…

  • Food & Restaurants,  Journal

    So Long, Anthony Bourdain, You Fucker.

    Maybe it should have been obvious, the ever-expanding eye bags, distending and contorting his corrugated, leathery skin. The sleepless, workaholic lifestyle that despite his incredible success seemed to thunder away from the self rather than toward something, as if there was too little solace in the now to stay for very long. Too much fucking pain to pause. The sad…

  • Internet,  Journal

    Forget Fake News, Fake Morality is the Problem

    Walmart, that beacon of corporate immorality, just took Cosmopolitan off their shelves, because apparently scantily clad women and hot sex tips now count as pornography and of course pornography is the new fake public health crisis. Congress just passed the FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) which everyone pretty much agrees won’t help victims of sex trafficking but will seriously…

  • Journal,  Relationship

    Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Suck

    Whether you’re single, married or coupled-up for several years, Valentine’s Day can just outright suck. The pressure that filters down from all the diamond ads, the store displays, the need to get dinner reservations 3-4 months in advance. It’s pretty much like Christmas with family – and don’t get me wrong, I can love me some Christmas, and of course…

  • Sex Advice

    Female Orgasm Hacks for More Powerful Pleasure

    There is no Declaration of Orgasmic Independence unfortunately, all orgasms are not created equal, not by a long shot. Why is it that a month after swiping right for Philippe, that dashing could-be Frenchman, (probable French Canadian) the orgasms that had come so fast and furious in those early “my god he actually has hair and resembles his photo” days,…

  • Food,  Journal,  Reviews

    Ariana Afghan Kabob Restaurant

    On the exposed brick wall, amidst the tasseled tapestries and hand woven rugs, across from the Free Afghanistan poster, you’ll find her – the iconic National Geographic girl with those haunting green eyes. It’s Wali’s sister. The long time maître d of Ariana Afghan Kebab on 9th Avenue and 52nd Street, Wali is charismatic, charming, and totally full of shit…